Why “Finding Your Style” Is Actually Holding You Back
In Vancouver, we dress for rain, errands, meetings, and the occasional “I might see my ex” moment. If your closet can’t handle all of that, you don’t need a new aesthetic. You need a system.
Because the “find my style” mindset sounds romantic… but it keeps you stuck in the exact loop you’re trying to escape.
You spend hours searching for inspiration, only to feel more lost as time goes on. You keep buying clothes that look incredible on other people, but somehow fall flat on you. Even with all the style guides and Pinterest boards, getting dressed starts to feel like a chore instead of a ritual.
Here’s the plain truth: your personal style isn’t a hidden formula or a lost puzzle piece waiting to be found. It’s already there, waiting to be expressed.
The problem is the word finding.
When you’re “finding” something, you assume it’s outside of you. Somewhere out there is a perfect aesthetic, a celebrity outfit, a saved Reel, a “capsule wardrobe” checklist that promises to fix your life…
Your style isn’t outside you. It’s built through self-knowledge and repeatable outfit logic.
The style trap nobody warns you about
When clients come to me after years of trend-chasing and closets full of influencer recommendations, they’re simply exhausted.
They’ve tried to package themselves into a neat, marketable label: “cottagecore,” “Parisian chic,” “Scandi girl,” and so on. It’s aspirational at best and a cage at worst.
Not because those styles are bad. Because they become a substitute for self-knowledge.
You start dressing for the idea of being someone, instead of dressing as yourself, on purpose.
What I do before I style anyone
Before my first appointment with a client, I’ve already done my homework.
We start with a short call about:
their lifestyle right now (work, obligations, daily activities)
what they’re proud of (professional, health, personal growth)
What they actually wear on repeat
what they’ve tried that didn’t land, and why
what they like about their style, and what they feel unsure about
And yes, everybody has something they’d rather change. Even supermodels have insecurities. The goal isn’t to shame that. The goal is to stop letting it run the show.
Because when you understand the real problem, you stop trying to solve it with random new clothes.
A good stylist is a master of illusion (and I mean that lovingly)
Styling isn’t about forcing you into my taste—or anyone else for that matter. It’s about helping you see your own personal architecture so you can dress with strategy instead of stress.
Your “architecture” can include:
bone structure and proportions (what shapes mirror you best)
body geometry (where you carry presence, softness, sharpness)
undertone palette (what colours make you look alive)
lifestyle needs (what your outfits must do, not just how they look)
When you understand those pieces, getting dressed becomes simpler. Shopping gets quieter. You stop getting seduced by clothing that looks good online but doesn’t support you in real life.
The shift that changes everything
Instead of “What’s my style?”, you start asking better questions:
“What neckline supports my proportions?”
“Do I need more structure, or more softness?”
“What fabrics make me feel powerful, not fidgety?”
“Do I want to look polished, relaxed, or sharp today?”
That’s style. That’s skill.
Create your own character (not an aesthetic prison)
To create, we select, combine, invent, refine. We edit. We change.
A priority in my work has always been helping clients become more aware of themselves. I’m not here to enforce a point of view. I’m here to point you in the direction of your dreams, then build a closet that supports that version of you.
The magic happens when we stop searching for style and start learning about ourselves. When you understand your personal architecture, shopping becomes easier because you have a strategy. It’s understanding why a V-neck never sits right, or why certain fabrics make you feel powerful (or dainty).
And the best part is: style isn’t permanent. It can be changed, tweaked, re-created. It begins with dreaming, but it stays because you learn the “why” behind what works.
A practical reset
5 rules that end the “finding my style” spiral
Stop searching for a label. Start tracking what repeats.
Screenshot outfits you actually loved wearing, not just ones you admire.
Build three outfit formulas you can repeat.
The goal is ease, not constant novelty.
Fit first, always.
Fit is what makes the budget look expensive.
Buy for your life, not your mood.
Your closet needs to serve your real week, not one imaginary Saturday in Paris.
Choose one signature and repeat it.
A neckline, a silhouette, a shoe shape, a colour pairing. Repetition becomes polish.
3 outfit formulas to borrow (polished, preppy, effortless)
Formula 1: The Polished Preppy Stack
Blazer + fitted top + straight-leg trouser + loafers
Formula 2: The “Looks Expensive” Column
Monochrome base + long coat or trench + one sharp accessory
Formula 3: The Effortless, Elegant Uniform
Knit + tailored pants or clean denim + sleek boot + simple jewellery
Practical checklist:
the 10-minute “system” you can build this week
Pick 1–2 base neutrals you repeat (black, cream, navy, chocolate, grey)
Choose 1 “hero layer” (blazer, trench, long coat)
Choose 1 “hero shoe” you wear often (loafer, sleek boot, clean sneaker)
Choose 1 signature detail (gold hoops, belt, watch, scarf, lipstick)
Write 3 outfit formulas in your Notes app and keep them there
Try This This Week
The 3-Outfit Proof Challenge
Pick one hero piece you already own and style it into three outfits. Take mirror photos. Notice what makes you feel most like you.
No scavenger hunt required.
Now go get dressed in 10 minutes, not 45. Vancouver weather can’t stop you.
If you want me to build your system with you, book a styling session (online or in Vancouver) with me
See you in the mirror. 🖤
XOXO, Deanna
